How to Negotiate a Fair Divorce Settlement with Your Spouse

Jeremy AtwoodDivorce

High asset divorce

When you are in the middle of your divorce, it’s natural to feel like it’s the end of the world. The emotions are running at an all-time high, and with the uncertainty hanging over your head, you might want to just get this over with. But if you give up, you might end up with a divorce settlement that you’ll come to regret forever.

While you want this ordeal to be over as soon as possible, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your future. You must think about your future, your children, and rebuilding your life. The good news is you can do this all if you negotiate your divorce settlement with an open mind. 

This quick guide will help you do just that. Let’s start. 

1. Focus on What’s Best for Your Kids

If you have children, they will be at the heart of your divorce settlement. But, like the family courts in Utah, you’ve to focus on what’s best for your kids. Even if you’ve decided to part ways, your children still need a nurturing and caring environment. That means thinking about their needs first. So, think about: 

  • Where will they live?
  • Where will they go to school?
  • How will holidays be split?
  • Who will handle medical decisions?

Whether or not you share custody, be sure your kids have a stable and loving environment. Never use them as a bargaining chip in your divorce settlement. Instead, when you focus on your kids, use this opportunity to find common ground with your spouse.

2. Don’t Let Your Ego Get in the Way

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. Sometimes, your pride might tell you to fight for more or resort to positional bargaining like “I want the house.” But remember, ego is not your friend. It’ll only cloud your judgment and might lead to an unfair divorce settlement that’s less likely to hold up in real life. So, stay calm and think logically. 

Ask yourself:

  • Is this worth the fight?
  • Will this benefit my children and me in the long run?
  • Is there a better solution to this problem?

For example, instead of fighting over who gets the house, you can sell it and split the proceeds, which will help you both rebuild your lives quickly and easily. When you think calmly, these answers might come to you naturally.

3. Disclose Your Finances Honestly

Most divorce cases in Utah reach an equitable property division because of transparency and honesty. If you hide assets, it can backfire. The judge may decide to award all your hidden assets to your spouse or might ask you to pay their attorney fees and a steep fine. 

If you lie under oath, it’s considered perjury. You may be charged with fraud if found deceiving your spouse intentionally. In other words, both parties should lay all their cards on the table before the negotiations begin. 

So, come forward with all your:

  • Income sources (direct and indirect) 
  • Paperwork related to your assets and debts 
  • Tax returns for the past several years (as far back as possible) 
  • Documents of inheritance or gifts from family and friends 

4. Keep Your Emotions in Check

Divorce stirs up emotions. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, or scared. But emotions can cloud your judgment. Take a deep breath and try to stay calm even if your spouse tries to gaslight you. 

If you find it hard, consider talking to a counselor or sharing your feelings with your divorce lawyer in Utah. But don’t engage in a verbal exchange with your spouse that leads nowhere. It’ll only stall your divorce settlement discussion.

5. Use Divorce Mediation

Mediation has resolved many divorce cases in Utah, and its success rate is 70-80% nationwide. It is a relatively straightforward process. You and your spouse work with a mediator to reach a fair divorce settlement. Its informal nature makes mediation an excellent tool to reduce conflicts and reach an agreement that’s more likely to be honored. The mediator keeps the discussion fair and focused.

With mediation, you can: 

  • Control the outcome of your divorce settlement
  • Save time and money
  • Focus on cooperation and understanding
  • Keep your decisions private 
  • Protect your children from the stress of litigation 

6. Keep Co-Parenting Front and Center

As mentioned, your children are at the heart of your divorce settlement. Nothing matters more than their well-being, which is where co-parenting comes in. Most divorce cases in Utah have to share child custody, making it necessary to draw a viable co-parenting plan

Successful co-parenting requires:

  • Open and honest communication 
  • Setting clear boundaries 
  • Being consistent with rules and routines
  • Drawing a plan that can hold up in court 

When you focus on co-parenting, you show your children that they come first. This helps them adjust better to the changes. But if you can’t come to a decision, consider mediation or talking to a professional counselor. 

7. Remind Yourself That It’s a Give and Take

A fair divorce settlement is about compromise, not winning. It’s unlikely that your spouse will accept everything you’ve laid out in your initial proposal. Both you and your spouse will have to give and take to reach a fair agreement.

When doing so, stay focused on your future and long-term goals. List all your priorities and decide where and how much you are willing to negotiate. Understand that you won’t get everything you want, but you don’t have to agree to everything your spouse demands.

8. Talk to a Family Law Attorney in Utah

A skilled divorce attorney will guide you through this process from start to finish. They know Utah’s divorce laws and the mediation process like the back of their hands.

Your attorney can:  

  • Explain your legal rights
  • Help you understand typical divorce settlements
  • Help you prepare for mediation 
  • Negotiate on your behalf 
  • Represent you in litigation (if required) 

That means you should find a reliable divorce attorney in Layton, Utah, as soon as possible. They will make sure your settlement is fair and just.

Conclusion 

While divorce is challenging, you can reach a fair divorce settlement. You will be required to focus on your kids, keep your ego in check, be honest about finances, and manage your emotions. You must also use mediation and prioritize co-parenting. But above all, you’ve to remember that it’s about give and take, not positional bargaining.

At Jeremy Atwood Law, our seasoned lawyers can help you reach a fair divorce settlement. Our team is here to support you every step of the way. If you are contemplating a divorce, contact us to schedule a free consultation today.