8 Child Custody Mistakes You Must Avoid During Divorce

Jeremy AtwoodChild Custody

joint custody attorney utah

Divorce is emotionally demanding, especially when children are involved. Arguments over child custody often take a personal turn, complicating your divorce process. It also puts your family, particularly your children, under a lot of stress. 

As challenging as it is, keep your emotions in check. Like other states, the child custody laws in Utah focus on the well-being of children. If your child custody case ends up in court, your emotionally aggressive behavior may not work in your favor. You might lose custody or even visitation rights for your child. 

If you are a parent going through a divorce in Utah, stay calm and avoid the following child custody mistakes.

1. Avoid Cooperating with Your Ex

You may no longer see eye to eye with your ex. But putting those negative feelings above the well-being of your children is probably the biggest you’ll ever make. It might make the judge view you in a negative light. Worse still, it might affect your children.

Nothing matters more than your children when you are going through a divorce. That’s why you need to cooperate with your spouse. This means being flexible with parenting time, attending mediation sessions, and showing willingness to co-parent. 

If you find it hard to put your past behind and communicate with your ex, you can seek professional help. A therapist can help you keep an open mind and stay civil with the other parent. You can also hire a skilled Utah divorce lawyer to communicate on your behalf. 

2. Manipulate Your Kids

Unfortunately, this is one of the most common child custody mistakes we see as lawyers. You might also want to turn your children against your ex to get back at them. But that’s a huge mistake.

Divorce is often tough on kids as it is. The last thing you want is to use them as your pawns or leverage in your divorce negotiations. This not only adds to their emotional stress but may also lead to long-term psychological consequences

Utah courts never look favorably on such manipulations. You should never manipulate your children. Instead, develop a healthy relationship with your kids and let them form their own opinions.

3. Make Your Child Feel Sorry for You

Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s natural to want your children to understand what you are going through, but making them feel sorry for you is wrong. 

What parents fail to understand is that the children are not their therapists. Sharing your emotional challenges with them or making them feel responsible for your divorce puts them under undue pressure. Courts refer to this as parental alienation, and it might cloud the outcome of your child custody case in Utah.

Your children deserve to feel secure and loved, not burdened by your grown-up problems. Instead of leaning on them, seek emotional support from your friends, family, or a therapist.

4. Badmouth Your Ex

As sad as it is, we often see parents making this child custody mistake. Whether unintentionally or otherwise, parents end up badmouthing their ex. But doing that in front of your children is simply unacceptable. 

For one, badmouthing your ex can damage your children’s relationship with them. Secondly, children naturally love both their parents, and this behavior might hurt them deeply. 

While your ex may not have been a great partner, it doesn’t necessarily make them a bad parent in the eye of the law. So, be careful when you talk about your ex in front of your children. Whether your friends or family you are speaking with, always discuss your ex respectfully or say nothing at all.

5. Overlook Court Orders

Utah Courts often issue temporary orders during divorce proceedings. These orders could be related to physical custody of your children or child support. Whatever it may be, violating a court order can have serious consequences. You may lose your custody rights or held in contempt of court.

Follow all court orders regarding temporary custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and child support payments. If you disagree with any part of the order, immediately speak with your divorce attorneys in Utah.

6. Overshare On Social Media

Contrary to popular belief, social media isn’t a private space to vent your feelings. It’s a public space, and anything you say about your divorce or child custody on social media can be used against you in court. If you tend to share everything online, stop it immediately. 

When you are online, you should avoid: 

  • Sharing negative comments, posts, or content.
  • Badmouthing your ex.  
  • Disclosing your personal life. 

Keep your personal life private. If you want to vent, speak in person with your close friends and family. You can talk to a therapist if required.

7. Ignoring Your Child

When going through a divorce, it’s easy to get caught up in your own emotions and needs, but you cannot ignore your children. Divorce will affect your children as much, if not more. Pay attention to their emotional and physical well-being.

Be sure they continue their routine, attend school, do their homework, and engage in their favorite sport or art activity. Whether you have temporary custody or visitation rights, spend as much time with your kids as possible. Show them they are your priority. 

Remember, you are not doing it for your case, you are doing it for your kids.

8. Not Seeking Legal Advice

Handling your case without legal help can be overwhelming, not to mention risky. Whether it’s the paperwork or a court date, missing even the smallest detail can cost dearly. But a competent divorce attorney in Utah can help you avoid such costly mistakes. 

Your lawyer can help you:

  • Understand your rights as a parent. 
  • Collect all the required documents. 
  • Complete the legal paperwork. 
  • Build a strong case for child custody. 
  • Negotiate a fair divorce settlement. 
  • Represent you in court if your case goes to trial. 

Whether a contested divorce or not, it’s always better to have a skilled lawyer on your side. They help you stay focused on the well-being of your children and don’t let your ex take undue advantage of your cooperation.

Conclusion 

Divorce is often challenging when children are involved. But if you avoid these common child custody mistakes, you can sail through these uncharted waters smoothly. Whether you are looking at a mutual divorce or a drawn-out court battle, focus on the well-being of your children. The goal is to provide your children with an emotionally stable environment during these trying times.

Hiring the right Utah divorce attorney can halve your emotional burden. If you are getting divorced in Utah, talk to our skilled lawyers. Contact us to schedule a consultation today.

Jeremy Atwood

Jeremy Atwood is a Utah-based attorney with more than 17 years of experience in elder law, estate planning, family law, and probate. He founded Jeremy Atwood Law in 2008 to help families across Northern Utah protect their futures and resolve legal challenges with clarity and care.

Jeremy earned his Juris Doctor from Washburn University School of Law and holds a bachelor's degree in Child and Family Studies from Weber State University. He is licensed to practice in Utah and has built a reputation for delivering trusted legal advice in areas such as wills, trusts, Medicaid planning, guardianships, divorce, and long-term care.

Clients appreciate his ability to guide them through difficult decisions with professionalism and compassion. Whether you are planning your estate or dealing with a family legal issue, Jeremy provides reliable legal support backed by years of focused experience.